Baby Blues

02Apr09

I have a confession to make. I’m not in the best of spirits, and I don’t know why. Hormones, yes, but I never experienced such downs with my first 2 pregnancies. Truthfully, if I had to designate a pregnancy where depression would’ve hit me it would be my 2nd for some undisclosed reasons (you know what they are, Mama). And sure, my husband is in Houstonn and I’m in Austin…but I know I’m strong enough to handle it…if I weren’t pregnant. Of course all of my previous health issues put a damper on my mood, but you would think now that I’m feeling better that my mood would be better too. Not so much.

I have an appointment with an ob today to be seen for something else, but I’m going to bring this up too. I can’t let this go on. I am tired all of the time. No matter how much sleep I get, I just want to lay around the house all day. It takes a considerable amount of determination and effort to get myself in the shower. My body aches all over, all the time. And I’ve gone through a 4-box pack of tissues in a week & a half because I cry almost constantly. It takes everything in me to keep it together when I have to go out or go to work. My patience with my children is gone. The only thing I can give myself credit for is that I’m not neglecting my children’s basic needs. They’re clean; they’re fed; they’re in bed on-time. But I am not myself. I feel like a robot just going through the motions. I feel like I’m broken. I feel like a freak. I don’t want to be touched. I just want to be left alone, but I don’t want to be alone.

I thought I was just being lazy, a brat, selfish. Now I’m not so sure…but I will get some answers today.

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2 Responses to “Baby Blues”

  1. 1 dad

    Hi kiddo, just a few words to let you know that you’re loved by alot of people, that we’re here for you, that we’re betting on you, that we know that you’re a winner in the winners’ circle, that if you eat all your peas and carrots you can have ice cream before you go to bed. Love Dad

  2. I love you babe. Call me this week for a chat………It was nice to hear your voice Saturday morning.


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